Well, up... ish. I'm working on it, dammit! Index: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Syd Lexia on Crystalis It's the twentieth anniversary of End DAY, so let's speak about Crystalis. This text is still below development.

Christmas at Kris Lexias: Beauty and the Beast Style Kris Lexia critiques Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas WARNING: This article comprises prolonged discussion about giant organs.

Random Musings: The Legend of Zelda Syd pontificates on the first Legend of Zelda game, about nothing in particular. In loving memory of Raymond Scott Bishop, 1993-2014.

Ten Years: A Retrospective In honor of the positioning's tenth anniversary, here's a 50,000 word retrospective. That, or it's a Kris Lexia article about Neopets toys from McDonalds.

Kris Lexia's Snackoween Spooktacular And now for something completely different, this is Syd's sister eating Halloween-themed foods. Also featured inside: ghosts. (Probably not.)

Syd Lexia on Abadox Abadox is the story of a design team's bizarre eye fetish. This is not a joke. Also featured inside: ghosts.

Pong: Violent, Sexist, and Vile Sexism in video video games is quite the recent-button difficulty. We must battle it. One drawback: how do you struggle a video recreation tradition that's virtually as old as video games themselves?

Bart's Nightmare: A Review By Valdronius Bart's Nightmare is, if nothing else, a reasonably pretty recreation. To search out out whether it is nothing else, try reading this evaluate by Valdronius.

Nine Simple Truths That Mega Man Proved Wrong There are issues you understand that aren't as often called you know them to be. Mega Man's adventures on the NES will train you this. Question Everything.

Super Mario CCD: Legend Of The Seven Deadly Sins According to the Catholic Church, there are Seven Deadly Sins that one can commit. Super Mario, often cited as a paragon of advantage, is responsible of all of them.

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NES Launch '85: A Have a look at The first Games For The Nintendo Entertainment System The Nintendo Entertainment System just turned 25 years old. In celebration of this super anniversary, here is a glance again on the system's launch video games.

DuckTales Is Impossible And Reality As We know It's An enormous Fucking Lie You probably remember Capcom's DuckTales recreation for the NES as being actually fun and pretty simple. Well, it wasn't. It was not possible. Also: actuality is a lie.

Syd Lexia vs. The Addams Family Cereal This text is dedicated to the dearly departed Raul Julia, who played Gomez in the one two Addams Family movies that matter. Hopefully I will be seeing him soon.

Syd Lexia vs. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal Jesus Christ. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal. Seriously? I actually don't wish to eat this.

Syd Lexia vs. Slimer And The actual Ghostbusters Cereal When I'm consuming expired cereal, in your neighborhood... who ya gonna call? THE PARAMEDICS!

Syd Lexia vs. Bill & Ted's Excellent Cereal Hey, I bet you will not dare me to eat some cereal from 1990. Go ahead, dare me. Come on! Whatever, I'm gonna do it anyway.

10 Things On The NES That I really Didn't Need to See Because Ryan's bare ass was one bare dude ass too many. WARNING: May contain cat anus.

The 100 Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever You've waited patiently for the next epic checklist from SydLexia.com. Finally, here it is. The 100 Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever!!!

His Name Is Rob Paulsen. Your favourite cartoon characters cannot converse for themselves. They're voiced by actual individuals with actual names. The man who voiced Yakko Warner has a reputation. His title is Robert Paulsen.

Happy Birthday/Anniversary Emily! Three years, baby! Your parents said we would by no means make it, however we did it! WE FUCKING DID IT! Just kidding. That is Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 7.

Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 6 Just as Are You Afraid of the Dark? returned after a hiatus in 1999, Lessons Learned has returned after a hiatus in 2009. Get prepared for the learniest classes you may ever learn. Also INSIDE: Elisha Cuthbert eating a sandwich.

Metroid: A Blind Run By Valdronius Up until recently, Valdronius had never played the original Metroid. We will both kill him, or examine his blind run of the sport. I like Valdronius, so why don't we at the least give the non-murder possibility an opportunity?

Syd Lexia on All Night Nippon Super Mario Bros. For his a centesimal article, Syd evaluations a uncommon Mario title that was designed as a promotional merchandise for a Japanese radio program. In this recreation, Mario rescues All Night Nippon DJs from King Koopa, with a little assist from his trusty Star of David. No, critically.

A Salute To PrintMaster Plus 2.0 Back in the great previous days, print shop packages were innovative expertise. Today, you have to be borderline retarded to purchase one. This text is about the nice previous days.

Come To The Dark Side, We have Cookies. In this train, I eat a box of Star Wars Cookies from 1983 and see what occurs. Three years later, I die of most cancers. Scientists attribute my death to "being a complete fucking idiot".

Contra: The Man's Guide To Fucking Like A Porn Star What higher option to follow Valdronius than with an article evaluating Contra to sexual intercourse? This analogy just isn't at all obtuse. This is the greatest factor I have ever written.

Impossible Mission: The Story Of A Research Paper In accordance with Valdronius, enjoying the traditional Commodore 64 game Impossible Mission is loads like writing a research paper. Personally, I consider him. Check it out.

Who Watches The Watchmen? This is both a overview of the best graphic novel ever written, or a review of some Game & Watch games. Either approach, a few of you will be dissatisfied.

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